đźš« What it means to have experienced sexual abuse
Experiencing sexual abuse meant your earliest understanding of boundaries, safety, and trust was shattered, forcing you to navigate relationships with a distorted map where consent was unclear and your body's autonomy was treated as negotiable.
You may have learned to disconnect from your body during trauma—freezing, dissociating, or mentally leaving to survive what was happening. Your nervous system developed ways to store memories in your body that sometimes react with alarm to safe touch, or create moments where parts of yourself feel disconnected, like they belong to someone else. You might have been forced to keep terrible secrets through threats, guilt, or confusion, learning that speaking about certain experiences was dangerous.
Your relationship with your body may remain fractured—alternating between numbness and hypervigilance, never feeling fully at home in your own skin. Physical touch might require conscious permission, even when wanted, and medical settings could feel terrifying. The way you sometimes feel absent from your own skin isn't weakness—these are survival strategies your body created to protect you, evidence of your incredible resilience.