THE LIGHTNING ROD

Growing up, you became the family's designated problem—blamed for everything that went wrong, absorbing their dysfunction as if it were your fault 💔. When tensions rose, all eyes turned to you as the source of the chaos, making you the scapegoat and the lightning rod for everyone else's unresolved pain, frustration, and anger. Your siblings learned to stay quiet and blend into the background while you drew all the fire, becoming the identified problem child within your own family 🎯. This systematic blame taught you that love comes with a price tag of needing to take on responsibility for others' emotional issues. But this early wiring also made you incredibly skilled at handling intense pressure and conflict that would overwhelm most people ✨. You became a master at absorbing emotional chaos and finding ways to fix what feels broken, developing an almost supernatural ability to take on burdens that others can't or won't carry.

Now you find yourself automatically assuming responsibility for others' problems, even when logic tells you they're not yours to solve 🤲. In relationships, you become the default problem-solver, taking on your partner's stress, failures, and emotional upheavals as if they're part of your job description. When your partner is upset, your first instinct is to figure out what you did wrong, even when their mood has nothing to do with you 🔍. You genuinely want to be a good partner—you naturally take responsibility for your partner's success and setbacks, offering thoughtful advice and practical solutions before they even ask 🗣️. Yet despite your genuine care and competence, you often unconsciously slip back into the familiar role of being "the problem person"—attracting partners who deflect their own issues by making every relationship conflict your fault, because that dynamic feels like home to your nervous system.

You over-function relentlessly to prove you're not the problem, working harder than anyone else to demonstrate your worth and competence 💪. The irony is that your desperate attempts to prove you're good enough often create the very relationship stress you're trying to avoid—your partner may feel overwhelmed by your intensity or frustrated by your constant advice giving and your inability to let them take responsibility for their own decisions 😰. You carry chronic guilt and self-blame like background music, always questioning whether you're too much, too demanding, or somehow fundamentally flawed. When you review your life course, difficulty determining what is and isn't actually your fault and responsibility leaves you in a constant state of uncertainty about your self-worth and positive impact on others' lives ⭐️.