Explore Survivor Love Styles
What’s Your Survivor Love Style?
Our quiz analyzes how traumatic childhood experiences may have shaped how you show up in your relationships
THE VANISHING ACT
You learned early that taking up space was dangerous—that your needs, feelings, and very presence could trigger conflict 🗣️ or make things worse. So you became a master of the disappearing act, developing an incredible ability to avoid "rocking the boat." Your skill at anticipating others' needs before they even know them is genuinely remarkable 🎯. You can sense when someone is getting worked up and automatically dial yourself down to give them space. But this survival strategy came with a devastating cost: you learned that connection means silencing yourself, that care is earned by being "low-maintenance," and that your worth depends on how little trouble you cause others. Now you feel guilty when you say "no" or put yourself first, as if you're doing something dirty 🗑️.
All this suppressed emotion has to go somewhere—and the only outlet for your pent-up anger is perhaps periodic blow-ups 💣, which only validate your belief that your emotions are dangerous and 'too much'. Outside of those moments, you've become so skilled at self-censoring
that you sometimes wonder if you have any emotions to share at all.